Mischa

is definitely learning those cold, hard lessons of metabolism after 25, and the horrifying results of cold, hard beer while out on the road with her band boyfriend. Still, she looked far too thin before, so a little indulgence is a good thing. I love that Mischa's crappy music boyfriend is opening for Paris' crappy music boyfriend and PARIS GOT JEALOUS because she didn't want to share the spotlight.

Least Normal Picture Ever

I love that the photog probably said ACT LIKE TWO NORMAL PEOPLE IN CENTRAL PARK and this is what they did, because they are aliens.

NOOO!!!

They are letting Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical) mangle the re-make of Teen Witch! SAD.
Did you guys know/care that Robin Lively of Teen Witch is the older sister of Blake Lively of Gossip Girl?
TOP THAT!

Courtney

She looks/is dressing like she did when I was in high school and she was in Hole and still married to Kurt, and Drew Barrymore was dating the drummer! Loves it.

She is

the epitome of class, yet I question her choice on see through maternity wear.

I understand

WANTING to take a shot when you're babysitting, I just can't compute doing it. Then again when vodka is all you eat, you're probably pretty starving all the time.

For real

Pink just divorced her husband and now she's cavorting on vacay with a new dude. I doubt celebrities ever sob and eat til they pass out and drunk dial their exes and call in sick for work one time too many. They are without fail, always on the beach with a new man two weeks later. But most of them don't wear costume cast offs from the set of Pretty Woman (I am speaking directly at that hat) and jiggle around in ill-fitting bikinis.

Obligatory

They are so cute hanging out in Malibu in their little over-sized towels and her mini little arms and her big sunglasses. I bet they went and drank wine for the rest of the night and fed each other oysters

I hate

how fake Gwyneth looks on the cover of Vogue, I am beyond tired of air brushing. But most of all I hate, and I mean OBSESSIVELY HATE, that she is only 35. That's so depressing. And Angelina is like 32. What have I done with my life?

Seriously

Look at that WIG on the right hand side of those pics! She has just subscribed to fake, and has no grasp on reality at all anymore. Fake everything. I mean when I had extensions, Tim would stroke my hair by accident, and then recoil in horror. He would say "I just realized I was petting the hair of a 3,000 year old Mandarin woman." Anyway, now Paris openly sells her fake hair in a tacky, dusty little box.

Deception

I guess it's back to counseling for me and Ryan.

Thoughts on Rhianna's Tattoo?

Does it spell "Regret" in Astrologian?

Good News

they got back together. These two should not be with anyone else, ever. And excuse me Sean, did you honestly think you could do better?

hot tranny mess

Seriously Kate Hudson I hope really this movie is good, I'm rooting for you. Really, I can't remember the last thing I liked you in, and I have run out of answers for when people ask why I like you so much. Your clothing choice isn't enough anymore

serial sweater

she can't take it off. she wears it like every single day. this is because when you have no body fat you need layers. no big AP Physics situation there.

If you do a little detective work you will see that 40- year old Denise Huxtable has a very attractive 28 year old husband. You just have to look a little harder than you do at your average (homeless) man.

yum

When it was wicked hot in New York City and I had had one too many VANILLA VODKA & SPRITES the night before, I would stop at the Starbucks at Astor Place on my way to work and slurp one of these puppies down and Hallelujah! Cured. But I might as well of just stopped off at McDonald's and super-sized my breakfast with a XXL milkshake to wash it down. Good luck with those, Miley, when you're 27. Granted that is in like 79707 years.

BAD GIRL.

I would rather go naked

then wear this sweater, Sharon Stone.

Lots to love

about Lauren Conrad in this pic. The PUPPY and the shoes. Which are at Urban Outfitters and I love them.

Oh whoops

THE BACK of Lily Allen. Why?
She can afford whatever she wants, so this is obviously a CHOICE for her

news flash

this is the best cheese on the planet. I CAN NOT STOP EATING IT.

I love

Lily Allen's new blond hair. Kudos! So fresh and springy.

I wish

I could look like Gwen Stefani now, let alone six months preg.This woman does not age: her pale skin, her red lips, her platinum hair-- it's eternal. Her music is another story. Unless we're talking about Don't Speak, but she has abandoned that band.

The wedding party

for a famous stylist. The Olsens are among them. If they were trying to not call attention to the paps with the masks, their plan had a few holes in it. By the way these are some of the fittest bridesmaids on the planet. Look at the girl on the far right! Not normal. Way to distract from the bride, Toned Tammy. Personally that's why I'm not fit, in case I have to go to a wedding spur of the moment. It's HER day, not mine.

If I was Kate Bosworth's mother

I would put her in a hospital.

Rachel's famous Mandy Moore story...

about how she and Mandy shopped together in the LES and Mandy was proudly proclaiming herself a normal girl and not a size zero. And that's why I still love her, and why Rachel still reserves her as her celebrity BFF

My vote for

Least interesting couple of the year. She is a real snoozer.

When I am 50

I will not look like this. I will be happily watching Lifetime with a glass of cabernet. Not too different from how I am at 29.

For real though

Who stands like this? By the way, I honestly think those are Chinese Laundry shoes.

Renee at Leatherheads premiere

Is it me or does her soul appear to be void and unhappy.And what REALLY happened with her and Keith Chesney? Why does she throw steaming kettles at journalists' heads everytime they ask her? Will she tell us on her deathbed? No one should marry anyone after ten days, regardless, Pam Anderson.

Kelly O

Is she coordinating with the PTA about who's running the soccer carpool this week? And you too Eva, what is up with Hollywood MOM hair?

This is why

I just wear leggings or buy another pair of jeans when I'm not fitting into my normal jeans. I just feel like a constricted, suffocating chorizo.

Sienna Miller

I used to hate her and now I wonder why? It's like that girl I decided to hate in 8th grade. I have no memory why. Something happened between me and her and this boy in gym class but now I can't remember AT ALL. I just know I like her style. But would like to shove some whipped mashed potatoes down her thin throat.

I don't care

how crazy she looks. She is still my favorite female on the planet. Private Benjamin saved my life.

I love silver flats

on anyone. and they distract from how tiny Kate Bosworth is, which is good.

An obvious

insight but how does she not just topple over with that on her head, which has to be hiding drugs, because how has she not gained any weight back if she has "recovered"? ESPECIALLY because this is a pouty picture of her leaving jail... she MISSED her time to visit her husband Blake because she was running late (re: hungover) and he is a very vocal heroin addict. So she had needles and bags up in the hive. And you know that old wives' tale about the bee-hived woman who one day realized spiders had hatched in her hair? I mean don't you think Winehouse must nightmare about this every night? AND those are extensions, because two or three mos. ago she cut it all off and dyed it blond. So with extensions (speaking from experience) you NEVER wash them... which brings us to the fact that there are bugs up in there.

I completely support plaid, and the nineties, and aviators. On anyone. Even the anorexic snob from Gray's Anatomy who I wanted to stab during her love scene with Jake G. in Moonlight Mile. (funfact: I knew Tim was for me when we were the only two people on the planet who both owned dvds of Moonlight Mile).

SHIRT

I think I really love it on Helena Christensen. No mixed siggys here! Like, I really, really, really like this shirt. Not loving the bangs though. Why cover up that faboo face?

I think

she lightened her hair. Whatever she did to it, I LOVE IT. And what is that bag? That bag is sending me mixed signals. On Drew, Heaven. Mortals? Not sure. Kinda looks like a BabyBjorn.

I still wonder

How this girl physically got pregnant and had a baby

I am over

her leggings. I think when she sees this picture she will be too.

This is what I'm talking about

Like where did Ashley Olsen get that PERFECT old school motorcycle jacket? See, I love everything they slip on.

I thought this

Was really pretty. And it reminded me of being on Martha's Vineyard and the Upper East Coast in general, which lately, is all I can think about.

Teem

Gracie is a proud daughter