Take her to the Cleaners

First S. Ronson gets that terrible haircut, then she wears a pornographic t shirt and flips people off (granted it's the paps so they don't really count) . Pretty tacky.

Kate

asks me on the "low low" about a lot of Disney stars. Her latest inquiry was about Ashley Tisdale, or "Tizzy," as she as known at our house. I told Kate I liked her style, like her sense of humor, hated her terrible example of getting a nose job ("deviated septum") but also loved her in Picture This! the made for TV movie. I also love these sun glasses and the grey tight jeans with heels look.

Look

who was seen together sneaking out of the Green Door after his djing gig-- that's right, our collective bf Ryan and his ex, Rachel McAdams. Is it weird that part of my heart sighs in relief, and the other goes green, like he's cheating on me?

OMG!

Jessica is wearing Carolyn's Mayle dress, the one I love but always seem to spill on whenever I wear it when I'm in NYC! (SORRY CARO) Oh and I think it looks a .. little... bit... better on her than me but whatever! I love Mayle, that dress, and even have a friend crush on jessica for admitting she's stupid and that's ok. That dress is like 5 years old.. isn't that like vintage for a star on a press tour?

I like

this new couple. I think it's time for Michelle to be happy again, and she could only be with a cute twee indie director like Sophia Coppla's ex hubby Spike Jonze, who also dated Drew, so clearly he's got good taste in the girls. Anyway, they've been dating for a while now but this is the first time they've gone public. I bet Michelle is very careful about who Mathilda gets attached to. She's mini, but she seems like a real lioness mama.

Maybe i WILL have to go out in West Hollywood

Now that Ryan Gosling is DJing on Tuesday nights at the Green Door

Rumor has it

THIS is why Drew and Justin really split. She still loves Fabrizio, and at 33, wants minis, and says HE is the one she wants minis with. But it's all hearsay. But I think Flossie, her doggie, would be pretty happy about the reunion. As long as he is REALLY READY to settle down, I will permit it.

this just doesn't work. I wonder if LLo will make her get mini- extensions.

Well

Lauren yelled at me about not posting, so that always makes me post, but I should be doing my freelance. I will make this quick. This is the pretty passenger that was in Shia's car when he flipped in West Hollyood (EVERYONE gets DUIs in west hollywood, specifically at a few intersections, I'm surprised Gawker hasn't mapped them out as hot spots to get hit by a drunk celebrity, maybe they have. But anyway, it's another reason I can add to my list of "Why I Don't Have A Life In LA".)Her name is Isabel Lucas, she's Shia's costar in Transformers 2, and she is wicked pretty. She's Australian, friends with this amazing girl named Teresa Palmer who I interviewed yesterday, who is just as pretty as this girl, but I couldn't imagine a nicer little actress than Teresa. Our conversation made me question my previous beliefs about the universe, obviously, because how can someone be that nice, blond, thin, and rich, but so incredibly down to earth. Teresa will be in Bedtime Stories with Adam Sandler, out at Christmas. I LOVED her. Go see the movie even if you don't like Adam Sandler, because you're supporting a pretty fairy princess who is kind as can be, who also loves the animaux. Anyway, she is repped by the same people who rep Isabel, and Isabel dates Adrian Grenier, who I still think is cute even though I had that icky night at that bar with him. Here they are together. this girl doesn't look as nice as my new BFF, pictured hereBut I was jealous of Isabel because she dates Adrian and hangs at bars til 2 am with Shia, who I am obsessed with. I bet Shia is in love with Isabel but she just laughs it off, but keeps him around for the flattery. Shia is being a really bad boy recently, this is his mugshot when he was KICKED OUT OF WALGREENS for repeatedly going back to buy gummy bears and cigarettes, and he thought if he changed his sweatshirt they wouldn't recognize him as the drunk annoying kid who had been in there 878 times before. Look his interview up with David Letterman on youtube, it's really funny. Kate loves it. I just reposted this old mugshot because I think he is still laughing about "fooling" the Walgreens security guard. I definitely don't think he has put two and two together here.Anyway, the two boys from the two biggest movies of the summer (Indiana Jones and Batman) are having all sorts of problems. Here is Christian Bale with his wife and daughter, back in LA.If I had more time I might go into the psychological ramifications of working on these crazy larger than life 180 million dollar budget action films that take one out reality for far too long, but I don't have time. I have always thought Christian was creepy, though, and I while I buy his story that his sister and mom are nuts, I think he has a predilection to be crazy. Having American Pyscho on your rez doesn't help, either. Oh and this is the cutie from Greek who just arrested for a DUI (in West Hollywood) too. I am so bored with people who have so much money and don't get cabs. I am negative 100 bucks in the bank, but I still get cabs if I have had too much to drink. But I also have nightmares about LA cops/jail, and no money to get me out of bail, and no publicist to spin my story positively, I would just be the asshole who drank too much and didn't care about my life or the lives of others. But really when it comes down to it, all these drunk celebrities are too.

we just got

back from Omaha yesterday-- we missed our flight Monday, it was pretty bogus. Oh, and steam really does come out people's ears when they're mad! I saw it from Tim's. I pretended I had to go to the bathroom and split while he was dealing with the guy at the Continental counter. Well, i really did have to pee but the timing just seemed perfect. I didn't mind, obviously, spending another night at the lake, I just missed my doggies. Otherwise, I love being out at the lake in Nebraska.
OK and I posted this picture mostly because I want to be rich almost solely for the sweaters you can afford, but also because Kate and Lance split, which is old news, but the real news is what is going on with her? She has gone from Dax Shephard, back to Owen Wilson, then to Lance, all in one year, and we always see her involving Ryder in her relationships. I do have to say as the child of divorce, it's not easy to get close to the people your parents date, then have them vanish.

I keep going back to

this picture. This is just TWO WEEKS after having her baby. This is an alien-like sitch that I can't get to the bottom of.

I never realized

Tori Spelling is married to a chimp

I can't remember

if I already posted this, but I always think Clare Danes looks sick, and I think the proof is in the bikini. Still, she always gets the cutest guys. I think celeb boys are just programmed to think thinner is better. She's in Italy in this pic with hot as hell Hugh Dancy.

Biel

looking even thinner, and still no make up, after a fancy Hollywood dins. Something weird is going on with her, I am telling you.

I just bought

a hat like Mischa's. And it looks great. In your face Jenn!

Off to Omaha!

For the first of five times this summer..
.I'm going to stay at THIS girl's house. She's not as tough as she looks. I mean, don't EFF with her, but she's not this tough, really. In fact I am SO SO SO excited to sleep on her air mattress tonight!!!

I don't get

when pretty girls get like "bored" of being pretty so they experiment with shaved heads and camo clothes and men with creatively embroidered spiders on their cheesy $399 shirts from Roberston Blvd. If you're pretty, leave it alone, then deal with the real problems in life. I used to think Mena was TOO pretty. Once when I was watching Sugar & Spice I even freeze framed her face just to study it to understand why I was so enamored with it. Something about her big perfect blue eyes and tiny lil nose and pouty mouth. And I think this guy is the trainer she married. I think she only dates trainers. That's ANOTHER weird trend, where women get so obsessed with the perfection of their body that they take off all their beautiful hair to not distract from the body. Just weird, I don't get any of it.

This "Just- In"

Har har. No but SERIOUSLY, what the eff is up with reports of Justin Long and Kirsten Dunst holding hands in NYC, kissing, and looking hungover? I will tell you one thing, they were not up all night playing parcheesi.
Has Dumbst thought about the ramifications of KARMA if you sleep with Drew's boyfriend just under two weeks post breakup? Worse, did she have anything to DO with their split? You are effing with Karma's pretty princess of butterflies and disciple of hope and faith when you eff with Drew. Being hung from your pinky toenails while being bitten in the face by bats is not where I want to spend MY eternity, thank you very much. I'm losing my mind! Was it better when Kiki was breaking up with Jake G, then getting back together with him after she drunk booty called him, only to break his heart again, or when she was canoodling with Ryan Gosling at Schiller's? Where is the buck at which this woman stops. Oh and as for you, Justin, now that you are not with Drew I think you are ugly again.

Go See This

the day it comes out. First of all, it's Michael Cera, but it's ALSO, the sweetest most magical love letter to the Lower East Side, and a perfect mix of Say Anything/ Adventures in Babysitting/ and High Fidelity. I was lucky enough to see a screening and remember that love is the sweetest sound, better than any mix tape in the world. OOOOH i just loved it.

I do not know

Sienna Miller's mother, but I can bet the farm that she did not raise her daughter to cavort naked except for a cheap sailor's hat with a married father of four.

This is weird

The press is saying Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt (love her, remember her in Devil Wears Prada?) are apparently lovers? Emily just broke up with Michael Buble after three years, right after Anne and Raffa-snakeoillo broke up. Maybe it's just that Anne took Emily out the night the news of Emily's split broke, but there was also this blind item in the post... "This actress was always the goody goody. She has worked hard to change that image by doing less family friendly films and making sure to wear enough see through dresses on the red carpet. She wanted to lose the squeaky clean image to get better roles, but also to sell the idea that she was sexy and desirable to men. She has no desire for men, just wants the world to perceive her as a sex symbol. Everything was going according to plan until her last movie for which there were raves. There she met another actress and love was in the air. They were inseparable for the entire shoot and even got an apartment to share. Once filming ended, our actress decided to end the relationship for fear it would damage her career. The new lover who has been quietly out for sometime and is quite the scene stealer thinks our actress should get smart and stop pretending and start living."
And here's the pickie of them out the other night.

Believe me

this has not slipped through the 8 paws of Gracie & Guacky, we are just trying to figure out what lead to the split before a formal post. We HAD heard he gets drunk and hits on women in bars, so we are hoping Drew did the dumping and got rid of something in her energy path that would have just hurt more in the long run. Mini memoriam:

Why

do I think she is just so effortlessly cool?? I think it's cuz she is the exact opposite of me-- skinny and blond. Oh, and she's wandering the streets in NYC, the coolest place in the world, and I'm not. So she's cooler.

This is how

to look pregnant, if you ask me.

When you

eat heroin for breakfast, jumpin in and out of moving cars is child's play on the danger scale.

Lovin

the front, back, and belt of this dress on Hillary Duff. And the dirty hair, I always prefer dirty hair to puffy shiny hair. But you can only pull it off if you're rich. If you're poor, like me, if just looks like you ran out of patience in line for the showers at the local Youth Hostel.

Sad

I miss the pink. It was way more fun.

Did

anyone ever get Sarah Larson's appeal? I have high regard for G. Clooney but never figured this one out. Weirder yet, as a parting gift, he paid for her boob job. She's a butterface at best. MEAN I KNOW BUT SHE IS REALLY TACKY.

Doesn't

Jake look cute with his long hair? And kind of drunk? I think it's great that Reese and her kiddos are living in London while Jake films. Very real couple thing to do, I am all for taking distance seriously and taking those extra pains to be one step ahead of the trouble distance can cause.

This is what you call

a cool mom.

Look how

happy Portia and Ellen are in Italy! Their marriage is quickly impending, but I'm too lazy to look up when. I keep looking at those water glasses and thinking, "why aren't they drinking wine?... Why are they having so much fun if they're not drinking?" Sick.

sssssst

that's how i hiss. Is Abbie Cornish possibly pregs beneath that dress? That would make a lot of sense.

I am ready

for them to just come out already. Here they are about 2 or 3 days ago on the set of L Lo's film Labor Pains, holding hands like lovers.... I mean they are so happy, and she is obviously confident in public about it, and the public seems to be fine with it, I think it's really ok for them now, which is great. But come on already.

I'm gross

but 20 year old Zac Efron is hotttt. Vanessa Hugds is a lucky lil slutty teen. Long live HSM!

This is big

I was OBSESSED with Balthazar Getty while I was growing up-- now it comes out Sienna (who mysteriously broke up with her fiance last month) has been having an affair with BG-- and he is married with four kids, so please rescind my kind comments about her earlier. You know how I feel about homewreckers. Here they are saying goodbye in Prague, a fan caught them w her camera phone.
Oh and here is the movie poster from Where The Day Takes You, whence I first fell for BG. NO PARENTS. NO RULES. Oh and too pretty for her own good Sienna really needs to learn-- just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD. Maybe just listen to Dolly Parton's "Jolene" a few times.